


Top Secret: DO NOT READ!

by oh_hey_mickey



Series: Original Works [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Diary/Journal, Flash Fic, Original Character(s), POV Original Character, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28801305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_hey_mickey/pseuds/oh_hey_mickey
Summary: They won't leave me alone. I have to do something about it. I just don't know if I can.My first original work, read it pleeeease!!
Series: Original Works [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143836





	Top Secret: DO NOT READ!

_ 11.16.2002 _

I’ve had enough. They won’t stop making fun of me, about the littlest of things. I can’t stand it any longer, I swear I’ll snap one of these days. 

_ 11.22.2002 _

It’s not like they know what they’re doing. That almost makes it worse. They aren’t even aware of how their words tear at my flesh, each syllable creating a new fissure on my skin. They aren’t aware of how much pain they cause me, leaving me feeling the ghosts of their almost subconscious loathing poking at my already tender body. 

Of course, their intentions are far from pure. They want me to be miserable, they just don’t know how well they’re succeeding.

It hurts, and they have to know it. I can’t believe that they’d be so ignorant to the effect of their words. Sure, I’ve never stood up to them, preferring to sit in my room and escape instead, but why do they have to be so awful? I never do anything to them in the hopes that they’ll leave me alone, but I think they’re perceiving that as me backing down to their challenges. 

Maybe I ought to stand up for myself. 

_ 11.26.2002 _

Clarisse is the worst. She knows just how to get under my skin. She acts innocent while ripping me to shreds, her words pulling my hair, cracking my ribs, breaking my spine, the pain immobilizing me. 

It’s squeezing me, holding me underwater, leaving relief just out of reach. I despise them. They were so loving before, what happened? 

_ 11.29.2002 _

Sketch is getting on my nerves. He’s not as smart as Clarisse, so he resorts to copying her. She does one thing, he sees me upset afterward, he files it away for future use. Last week, he saw her subtly trip me up, so he crudely mimicked her by pushing me down the stairs. 

Of course, he didn’t get in trouble. It wasn’t his fault, Mom said. He’s too young to know what’s right and what’s wrong. This is an excuse I’ve heard so often I’m ready to stop telling Mom anything. 

He’s even been caught putting peanut oil in my food, for fuck’s sake! 

“It’s not his fault.”

It’s not like he’s completely dumb, it’s just that Clarisse is incredibly smart, and she uses it to torture me. Among other things, but yes. She hates me, for some reason. I’ve never stolen her boyfriend, never broken one of her things, never blamed her when I got in trouble for whatever. She just decided, once I stopped being her little pet, following her around and begging to play with her and her friends, that I wasn’t worth her time, or that I was purposefully ruining her life, or something. Once she got into her fancy technology high school, she started being cold to me. 

What I wouldn’t do to go back to her being cold. 

She was vicious, always striking a nerve with her words. Sketch was vicious physically and has left bones broken and littered bruises, but Clarisse’s words hurt infinitely more. 

_ 12.01.2002 _

I don’t know about Mom. She knows what they’re doing to me, she has to, but she’s never said anything about it. She can never manage to go through with a punishment for Sketch, always softening to his big, sad, baby brown eyes. She doesn’t even try with Clarisse, letting her roam the house like a jaguar stalking its prey. 

Anyways, Mom. She has never been one to take charge, and ever since Dad died, she’s let Clarisse take over. She cooks and cleans, but other than that, it’s all Clarisse. She hasn’t ever tucked us into bed, read us bedtime stories, cradled us when we hurt ourselves (except for with Sketch, her  _ dear baby boy _ ). I don’t know about her. 

Since Mom isn’t doing it, Clarisse is the one who hands out punishments. They’re horrible, but I can’t complain or they’ll only get worse. Mom is spineless, she won’t help me. 

_ 12.08.2002 _

I’ve got to do something about this. It’s getting worse. They won’t leave me alone; I haven’t had a solid hour of peace in days. My marks are already low enough, I don’t need their distractions and bizarre cruelties to make them worse. 

I wish I could hurt them the way they hurt me.

_ 12.11.2002 _

They’ve been pretty good lately. I told them off yesterday, I snapped, and ever since then they’ve been walking on eggshells around me. I like it this way, I like that they’re scared of me. It means I get a break from the hell they were putting me through. 

_ 12.29.2002 _

They did it again. God, it was going so well! They just couldn’t keep their mouths shut this time, they just had to let out their hatred and hostility, loading it all on me. I just wish they’d shut up!

_ 12.31.2002 _

I’m going to do it. I’ve made up my mind, I’m going to do it. 

_ 01.04.2003 _

This will be my last entry for a while. 

I did it. It was horrible, but I managed to go through with it. They can’t hurt me anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading!!!
> 
> my tumblr: https://ohheymickey.tumblr.com/


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